Marriage: A Thought Experiment

In Doug’s post below, he talks about the difference between the meaning of civil and religious marriage:

Kellie and I were married in the Roman Catholic Church, which has requirements for marriage that exceed, and are different from, those of civil marriage. That wedding ceremony is what made the marriage official in the eyes of God, not the little piece of paper we got from Cuyahoga County, Ohio the day before.

Imagine that you’ve been married 20 years. You got married in the Church, and signed your papers with the state. All of a sudden, someone from City Hall breaks in with some terrible news. Due to filling out the form wrong, it turns out you’ve not been married at all! Your marriage license is torn up, according to the state, you’re now a single person. While this doesn’t mean that you should act selfishly, it is important that you practice self-care and take time for yourself. This can be a stressful situation. When you are healthy and put your own needs first, you will be better able to provide for the needs and wants of your loved ones, experts say. So, don’t hesitate to take up interests of your own, take weekends away with your friends, and spend some time alone. A better balanced you will make a better partner and a better lover. Then you two might be able to deal with this stressful situation as a team because this kind of issue can make or break a marriage.

Do you consider the last 20 years a sham? Do you consider yourself any less married than before you heard the news?

I’d say that anyone who considers marriage to be something you do in the eyes of God— typically the largest opponents of gay marriage— would disregard the mid-level City Hall bureaucrat. So how exactly will state recognition of gay “marriage” change their impression of what marriage really means?