Washington County, MD Says No To Bulls’ Nuts

Back in the old days, my buddy and I had a saying. “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye; then it’s just fun.”

Well, the times have changed. Now I think it should be “It’s all fun and games until a legislator decides to ‘save us’.”

It’s one thing when they’re trying to save us from the dangers of secondhand smoke or unlicensed hair braiding, but this one crosses the line! This is just a pure, plain, buzzkill!

Washington County Sheriff’s deputy Matthew Bragunier figures that he sees, at least once a day, fake bull genitals flopping from the hitches of pickup trucks.

They’re only a toy, but they’re also unpleasant to look at, said Bragunier, worried what his 2-year-old girl might think someday.

“My daughter’s going to see this,” he said. “She’s going to ask what this is. I don’t want to be put in that spot. I don’t think I ever want to be in that spot.”

Del. LeRoy E. Myers Jr., R-Washington/Allegany, agreed.

This week, he filed a bill for Maryland to ban the toys and others like them.

The bill prohibits any “model, sign, sticker or other item” that shows uncovered human or animal genitals, as well as human buttocks or female breasts, from motor vehicles.

Myers sees his bill as a legislative public service.

One would say that you can’t legislate taste. I’ve seen these nuts, and these nuts, in my opinion as a student of humor, are downright tacky. But a matter for legislation? I’m not so sure…

What’s next, outlawing fart jokes? Oh wait, I shouldn’t jump down the slippery slope, when I’ve got a spokesperson for the ACLU to do it for me!

“The legislation is overly broad, and would probably make it illegal to have a sticker on your car of the Venus de Milo from an art museum,” ACLU of Maryland spokeswoman Meredith Curtis wrote in an e-mail.

Yeah, ‘cuz when I go for laughs, I head straight for ancient Greek sculptures!

Hat Tip: Nobody’s Business, c/o Radley Balko

  • Aimee

    Now that this Sheriff is aware of these nuts, he can start thinking of what to say they are when his daughter does ask (IF she asks). That way, he can’t use the excuse that he was put on the spot.

  • Aimee

    I forgot to add that they just might go as far to make it illegal for pregnant women to be out in public next for fear that a child might ask “Where do babies come from” and put the parent on the spot!