Sheryl Crow’s Dumb Ideaby Doug Mataconis
The BBC is reporting that singer Sheryl Crow has come up with her own solution to global warming:
Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.
Crow has suggested using “only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”.\ “I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming,” Crow wrote.
“Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating.
“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”
Aside from the laughably absurd idea of taking scientific advice from someone who sings songs for a living, there is the equally absurd idea that limiting toilet paper use is going to have a significant impact on the environment.
Do you know where most of the greenhouse gases come from these days Sheryl ?
From coal fired power plants. Given that, if you really want to help the environment you should be lobbying to have the restrictions on construction of nuclear power plants lifted so we can generate electricity with almost no carbon footprint.
But, don’t worry, Sheryl’s got another idea if that toilet paper thing doesn’t work out:
Crow has also commented on her website about how she thinks paper napkins “represent the height of wastefulness”.
She has designed a clothing line with what she calls a “dining sleeve”.
The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another “dining sleeve” after the diner has used it to wipe his or her mouth.
So instead of throwing out the napkin, we wash the dining sleeve in the washing machine, thus using more power from those coal fired plants. Bright idea Sheryl.
It’s stuff like this that makes it so hard for me to take the current environmentalist fad seriously. They come up with these ridiculous suggestions designed to make people think they are having an impact on the world and ignore the obvious solutions that are staring them in the face.
I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.Â Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit,Â except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who’s judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, “how bout just washing the one square out.”
I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the heighth of wastefullness. I have designed a clothing line that has what’s called a “dining sleeve”. The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another “dining sleeve,” after usage. The design will offer the “diner” the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product.. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.
This next idea I have been saving but I will share it with you if you promise not to steal it. It is my latest, very exciting idea for creating incentive for us all to minimize our own personal carbon footprints. It’s a reality show. (I feel pretty certain NO ONE has thought of this yet!).Â Here is the premise: the contest consists of 10 people who are competing for the top spot as the person who lives the “greenest” life. This will be reflected in the contestant’s home, his business, and his own personal living style. The winner of this challenging, prestigious, contest would receive what??….Â a recording contract!!!!!
Sounds like an earnestly serious suggestion to me. The problem with most ridiculous environmental proposals is that it’s often hard to tell the difference.