Thoughts, essays, and writings on Liberty. Written by the heirs of Patrick Henry.

February 3, 2009

Execute Michael Phelps

by Stephen Gordon

I’ll assume that US News and World Report writer Mary Kate Cary despises the people on this list (which was provided by Radley Balko):

Barack Obama, president-elect.  Bill Clinton, 42nd president of the U.S.  John Kerry, U.S. Senator and 2004 Democratic nominee for president.  John Edwards, multi-millionaire, former U.S. Senator, and 2004 Democratic nominee for vice president.  Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, 2008 Republican nominee for vice president.  British Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, Transport Secretary Ruth Kelly, and and Chancellor Alistair DarlingJosh Howard, NBA all-star.  New York Governor David Paterson.  Former Vice President, Nobel Peace Prize winner, and Oscar winner Al Gore.  Former Sen. Bill Bradley, who smoked while playing professional basketball.  Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, and former New York Governor George Pataki. Billionaire and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

Cary probably hates George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, Andrew Jackson, Zachary Taylor, and Franklin Pierce, too (source).

After all, here’s what Cary has to say about Michael Phelps (and the people who defend him):

Does she not realize how many middle- and high-school kids look up to Michael Phelps? That he’s on the front of Wheaties boxes right now? That we all warn our kids about the dangers of drug use? Most parents find that photo sad and disappointing and will use it as a Teachable Moment for teenagers. What Michael Phelps did was a shame, but adults’ defending—and even encouraging—his drug use are far more shameful.

The last time I checked, that Obama guy has a much more important position than being a silly Wheaties model.  Same for those assorted Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, etc. guys.

However, there is another reason to go after Phelps.  He’s the perfect poster child for Marijuana Amotivational Syndrome.

For a verrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy long list of Cheetos-eating slackers just like Phelps, check out this list (and read all of the comments).

Disclaimer: While I have smoked marijuana (and did inhale), it just ain’t my thang.  For those of you looking to buy me a birthday or Christmas present, here‘s my drug of choice.

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