Comments on: They can have my toilet paper when they pry it from between my cold, dead butt cheeks

By: Akston

Akston — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:04:03 +0000

There is a joke in here somewhere about Anal Retention and the compulsive desire to control everyone and everything around you. I’m working on it.

By: Ryan

Ryan — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 22:45:42 +0000

…what I want to know is what kind of person is sitting on the toilet and thinks to themselves… hmm, this toilet paper is hurting the environment. For real, who has time to come up with these things?

By: Peter

Peter — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 21:44:26 +0000

“No forest of any kind should be used to make toilet paper”

Well, except for the forest that were, um, planted to grow trees to make toilet paper?

By: Akston

Akston — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:39:33 +0000

Billy Wilder is quoted as saying:

“France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can’t tear the toilet paper”

Guess we’re headed that way in America too?

By: Stephen Gordon

Stephen Gordon — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:56:47 +0000

I agree.

So long as they don’t try to use government force to force scratchy toilet paper up my butt, I’m perfectly fine with it. I simply appreciate the buying guide and the chance for some quick snark.

By: Jeff Molby

Jeff Molby — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:53:38 +0000

There is an upside in all of this, however.

As long as they don’t try to legislate their list, this is nothing but “upside”. It’s fine by me if someone wants to sell “Greenpeace Certified” toilet paper to enviromentalists.