Obama confesses to treason and resigns, co-conspirators are in custody, Hillary Clinton sworn in as president…by Stephen Gordon
…is how this headline reads. Here are a few of the sordid details:
Washington, D.C., April 1 — U.S. President Barack Obama has resigned after confessing to treason. Obama named his co-conspirators and the FBI has taken all but one into custody in undisclosed locations.
Obama told FBI investigators that his primary co-conspirators were Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn. He revealed that they have spent the last 40 years devising a master plan for collapsing the U.S. economy by overwhelming it with taxes, debt and new spending programs. Obama also named as a primary co-conspirator billionaire investor George Soros, and said that it was market manipulations by Soros that began the financial meltdown in September when Obama was trailing the McCain-Palin ticket in the polls.
So far Obama has refused to name his al Quaeda handlers, who communicated with him through the Blackberry PDA he insisted on keeping after becoming president despite warnings that no such device can be kept secure.
Obama also named as co-conspirators Vice President Joseph Biden (first in line of succession to the presidency); House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (second in line of succession to the presidency); Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid; Senate Banking Committee Chairman Christopher Dodd; Senator Robert Byrd (who is also the Senate president pro tempore and third in line of succession to the presidency); House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank; Senior Advisor David Axelrod; his former chief campaign manager, David Plouffe; and his White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel. Emanuel has disappeared and is thought to have escaped to Israel disguised as a Chasidic woman.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is fourth in the order of succession to the presidency. She was sworn in as the first woman president of the United States by Chief Justice of the United States John Roberts in a small private ceremony in the FBI Building in Washington, D.C., at 7 am this morning. Her husband, former president Bill Clinton, and daughter Chelsea Clinton, witnessed the ceremony along with all the other members of the Supreme Court and a camera crew from C-SPAN.
Of course, it’s April Fools Day, and a newly conservative lesbian thought she’d get her April Fool’s posting in just before midnight.
There are other fools out there, too, but in this case, the joke isn’t nearly as funny. While at a meeting tonight, I heard that Obama has been indicted by a grand jury in Stockbridge, GA. I called a local friend (who writes on this blog from time to time) to get the scoop. It turned out to be yet another trip out into Birther fantasy land.